What is disappointment? Why are people disappointed? If disappointment comes easily, then what allows disappointment to leave as easily? How does one overcome disappointment? For me, disappointment comes along when I have foolishly set myself up with illusions of perfection. I realize that I know how disappointment sneaks in, however I can not seem to stop him from his sneaky attacks. My latest disappointment has attacked with a the illusions of love. Ever since I was a child, I was taught through disney movies, and fairytale princess stories, that a prince charming would come and sweep me off my feet. I was also taught to expect to be treated as a princess should. I confused this with, whatever "prince" comes along and treats me like a "princess" would be the one to give me a happily ever after. Disappointment snuck in like he usually does and took hold of my heart. Disappointment told me the truth. He broke my heart. He opened my eyes to the jerk in tin foil riding a donkey that I thought was my knight in shining armor riding a white steed. At first I was angry with this discovery. Why had disappointment let this happen. Looking back, disappointment might not have been a bad thing. What if I had fallen for that tin foil wearing fool? Would I have had to hop on the back of the donkey and bake like a potato against his foil fashion statement? Would there even be room on the back of the confused, morphed, midget horse? Would I have had to walk along side him while he rode? Like a slave? The what if's make me shudder. So just this once, I thank disappointment and continue on my way. Now over the years, disappointment has been my constant companion, always standing behind me waiting to step forward and the betrayal of a friend, a cheating boyfriend, a christmas present not asked for, or a movie with too high of hopes. Thinking about things maturely has been something that I have always thought I did. However, maturity is not something you earn. It is an acquaintance of disappointment that decides when to step forward and show his face. Maturity and disappointment are things that I have battled with. I try to fight disappointment with not getting my hopes up, keeping an open mind, and simply battling the urge to daydream. Maturity is a much more difficult opponent to beat. Trying to hold on to childhood is like holding on to money at an H&M. No matter how hard you try to fight the strength of maturity or the strength of Mr. H&M himself, the chemical nature and the physical need to let go to that childhood, or money, always wins. It's a melancholy feeling that accompanies the victory of the two partners in emotional growth. One wishes to be upset. It's easy to feel sad or angry that disappointment won again or maturity took over your mind. I however, have chosen to see things from a different angle (which might be the maturity talking). Could it be that disappointment has our best interest in mind? Without disappointment, would we know what our heart truly desires? Will we ever learn to accept disappointment as a blessing?
